by Derek O'Neill
When you’re in the thick of stressful emotions, it’s very difficult to make a clear decision. When you’re angry and anxious, that’s not the time to have an important conversation with somebody. That’s a battle, not a conversation! The ability to step back and observe what is happening to you at any given moment is empowering. The next time you feel stressed, try stepping back. It will take practice, but in time the reflex of observation can become automatic.
The reason why people routinely pray, meditate, or have a contemplative discipline is to learn a way to always find a calm space. When something triggers them and they need to know the way back to serenity, they can tap into it at any time. You have to train your mind and body to know when stress is becoming overwhelming.
Our attention needs direction and purpose. Left to its own devices it will stray from what we want it to...
What’s the first thought you have in reaction to the word “anger?” Most people would say that anger is a negative emotion, something they would like to avoid and purge from their lives. Though the goal is to let go of anger, and experience life from a perspective of joy, the first step is to recognize and embrace your anger. What is it telling you?
Don’t fear anger – face it and feel it, and then let it go.
If we ignore anger and shove it aside, we’ll miss a true opportunity to go deeper into ourselves. If we are afraid of these feelings, no matter how uncomfortable it is to sit with them, they will only rise again, misunderstood and toxic to our health, happiness and the energy we put out into the world.
Anger emerges with a thought. It all starts there. It feels as if anger forms within us, but in reality, we attract negativity from the outside world. Positive thoughts and outlooks...
by Derek O'Neill
When you step back from your stress and the emotions that come with it, you are practicing positive detachment. If there are changes we can make, such as learning to say “no,” or not over-scheduling ourselves, or looking for help with a task that has us extended beyond our ability, we can lower our stress. Yet no matter how much or how little the shape of our external life can be rearranged, the internal shift is the most important. The same events and situations that cause you stress can be emotionally detached from in a healthy way. Detaching doesn’t mean you no longer care, or that you are just going through the motions. It means that you don’t allow the external world to trigger you. When stepping back from negative emotions becomes a new habit, you begin to clearly see that you have a choice in how stress affects you.
We think that we have certain material things, or are in a perfect...